Growing up

I seriously have got to get over this jealousy/insecure stage im going through...its going to ruin me, and ruin my relationship with the greatest guy i've ever been with. I can't stand it. All i can say is that Garett is an amazing man for putting up with everything i throw at him. He doesnt deserve for me to act this way. He's been through alot, and is going on his first deployment in August and doesnt need the stress of me acting this way. The last thing i want to do is fight with him, he hates it and i hate it too. Even though I bring it on 9 times out of 10. I hate that im so needy sometimes...i just want him here. But I knew what I was getting myself into when we got together. I've seen my sister go through it. I keep telling myself...

....ALYSSA...get your shit together before you lose an amazing guy.

He really does make me happy, he's my reason for waking up in the morning (those sweet "goodmorning baby" texts also help too :) ) I just can't say how much I appreciate him, he does so much that I dont give him credit for.

...i think what gets me upset is when im alone, and have way too much time to think. i overthink things alot, and i need to stop. point blank.

...Im making a Promise not only to Garett, but to myself to stop this. Today. No More. I have to, for me, for him, for US.

on another note, we are leaving for Louisiana in oh about 10 days! Im so excited I can't stand it. He's leaving and coming to pick me up and we are driving almost 12 hours down...lord pray we dont kill each other on this drive :).


ok...time to get back to work..BLAH