Kickin My Butt....

Ugh. Thats exactly what this stupid ass deployment is doing. Kicking. My. Ass. and i absolutely hate it. Im trying to not let it get me down and depressed but its so hard. We are 4 days away from being 2 months down, and I truly thought it would get easier, hell no. I am trying so hard to stay strong, and trying to hang on to every word he tells me that gives me comfort but its so hard without him here. 


"No one turns into a horrible person during a deployment. Fights and tears don't make you horrible, they make you human. We spend so much time trying to be super heroes that we punish ourselves for being normal"


"Deployments are the perfect time to grow. To learn how to be independent while loving someone with your whole heart. To be secure in every aspect of your life, whether it be your relationship or your finances. It's okay to have friends, it's okay to have fun, it's okay to not break down everyday, and its even okay to break down some days"


"He's thinking about you. Every time you go to bed hugging your pillow wishing it was him. He's holding on to the perfume sprayed letter or picture wishing it was you. As forgotten as you feel, remember that they miss you just as much, even if they don't always show it in the glorious and romantic ways we dream up."


--Saw these sayings on a support site this morning when i woke up feeling like it was gonna be one of those days. I'm trying so hard to keep these in mind, and remember them but gosh darnit it's so hard. You can say all you want that your gonna be strong, your not gonna let a deployment get to you, but its much easier said than done. I'm so ready for the weddings to be over with. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas (mostly) are the Holidays im looking forward to. Probably planning a trip to Wilmington the last weekend in Oct, then a trip to VA Beach the first weekend in November to see my sister. Maybe those will give me a break and kind of hurry up and make the days go by faster. I definately love having things to look forward to, it makes time go by quick. 


On a good note. I thought of the PERFECT idea for the hotel room the night he gets home! Can't say on here because I know he reads this ... sorry babe :). Its fantastic though, and I have plenty of ideas for our mini vacation for when he comes back too! See I wish I could spend my time thinking of things to do, and actually do them! AH! ugh...back to work I go...shoot me now :)




iloveyougarett <3

Over It

So can i just start off by saying...i am completely over everything, i mean EVERYTHING that is going on in my life right now. Done. Im so mentally tired of everything going on, the weddings, work, money...over it. I am beyond over waking up being so F'N stressed, and going to bed the same way. I'm tired of waking up not hearing from garett, tired of waking up feeling like i have to walk on eggshells around everyone around me. The weddings I have in October, im ready for them to be over with. This makes me NEVER want to be in a wedding again, until I get married, even then...its gonna be small, simple, and to the point. Im pretty much over the switching they are doing with Garetts hours over there. I mean this is the 3rd time in less than 2 months that they have changed the hours that he works. C'mon Marine Corps, get your shit together so I can talk to my boyfriend at normal hours. Gah im over this fucking deployment. OVER IT, just like everything in my life right now. After the weddings... forget going out, im gonna stay at home...i dont care if I sound like a homebody, and that I have no life...im done trying to please EVERYONE, trying to make EVERYONE happy. Tired of feeling like im not #1 to A-N-Y-O-N-E, when i try my damndest to put so many people ahead of myself...im so tired of people if i could seclude myself from the world right now i would do it at the snap of my fingers. D.O.N.E

days go by...

oh man. well. we are a month and a half into this deployment, it seems like the days are going by faster than i thought they would, and its slowly getting easier, even though i do have my "days" sometimes. i miss him more and more as the days go by, but i can't seem to think of anything but the day when i am back in his arms again. gah i love this boy. i never thought i would know the true meaning of love, the real meaning. i've never in my life loved/cared for someone SO much. its the most amazing feelings in this world, i think everyone should be able to experience this feeling in their life. i feel like our love is something you would read about in books, or see in a movie. there's really no words that can explain how much im in love with him.

me and a friend planned to go to vegas in december, but i definately thought about that long and hard and decided right now wasnt the time i needed to go. there's so much i want to do right now before he gets home, and i dont need/want to spend the money going to vegas for 3 days. thankfully she's an amazing friend and understands. i can't wait to start working out, and going to visit my sister in VA more. I need to get away from this town and everyone in it.

well...i have tomorrow off from work, and its supposed to rain and storm all day. can we say PERFECT LAZY DAY? i think so :).

goodnight.

i love you garett<3

What all Marines, Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Coasties should know about their girl....

Found this on TUMBLR ...wow...whoever did these pretty much hit it on the spot ...most of them anyways :)

1. If she wasn't emotional before, that is all about to change
2. You getting a higher rank could just mean an automatic free lay.
3. Get her a pair of your dog tags, ASAP, This is crucial, she will never take them off.
4. Most of the time, you losing reception during training is your fault (Though, she will eventually understand)
5. Most of the time, everything is your fault. (this especially goes for when she is pregnant)
6. She WILL start talking like your guys and your talk, including using your last name
7. Her patriotism could out-do most of your men...she will be proud...VERY PROUD
8. Be Ready: your car will end up with a yellow ribbon magnet or an "I Love My _____" sticker eventually.
9. She will most likely need a pair of dog tags to hang from the car's rearview mirror
10. Every week she'll have "another song" that makes her think of you when you're away. ( And she'll cry to it, even when you're in the same room)
11. If youre married, she may know the base better than you do...Dont take it personal.
12. You will catch her comparing your relationship with "other couples" in the military constantly
13. She'll make 5 million friends online, and talk to you about them all the time because her "old friends just dont understand" like they do
14. Don't be shocked when she just drops civilian chicks out of her life like flies. (she mostly does this when they complain to her)
15. DO NOT if you love her, say anything about you not wanting to make her wait for you....
16. Most women actually do LOVE it when you are sweaty and dirty, even the girlie girls. It's sexy as hell
17. Only bring up the field once, say it clear, and dont bring it up again. We will remember the time, the dates, like stone inside our mind. Dont remind us
18. You ARE our hero. That isn't us being cute, its us swelling with pride, feeling like a princess everytime we glance over and you're standint there
19. Don't worry about waking her up when you get a chance to call, trust me, she's NOT sleeping. If she is, she's been waiting for you to call all night, and fell asleep next to the phone
20. Leave atleast 3 of your shirts for her...she'll wear them all the time and if she doesn't wear them out she WILl wear them to sleep
21. No matter what she was like before, she is tough & harder than a rock now. She can handle anything, she will get through it, tears, or no tears
22. Don't be discouraged or taken back from her strength. It comes with the territory. When in your arms, she's still your princess, soft and sweet.
23. Your kids might see mommy as the one in charge for a while, it's okay, they WILL respect you, just give it time
24. EVERYTHING in her life will be complicated, so she might actually need your support and encouragement.
25. Tag chasers are her WORST enemy, she CAN and WILL spot these girls...random profain comments may come out of your little queens mouth...its okay, she's protecting her best asset...you.
26. She will spend hours to look good on cam & pics for you, this is just a past-time until you get home, be prepared for messy ponytails and comfy pants when you finally do get home
27. Her favorite sentences from you start with "when i get home" or "when i get out"
28. No matter how much she's changed, never forget that you mean the world to her, she loves you more than anything, and you will ALWAYS be her hero...wheather you think are one or not.

another one...

of those days. i miss my sweet boyfriend, i think i have a stupid kidney infection and my heart hurts.....
September 1st my BIL lost a close friend. Travis Amsbaugh. Today they are laying him to rest. Not only was he an amazing Marine, but an amazing person. Travis could put a smile on anyones face, & he was definately the life of the party. Never a dull moment around him...I didnt spend alot of time with him, but the times we did hangout ill never forget. Watch over us bud, you'll be missed by many but never forgotten.

"There'll be two dates on your tombstone and all your friends will read 'em but all that's gonna matter is that little dash between 'em."

7/21/85---9/1/11