Kickin My Butt....

Ugh. Thats exactly what this stupid ass deployment is doing. Kicking. My. Ass. and i absolutely hate it. Im trying to not let it get me down and depressed but its so hard. We are 4 days away from being 2 months down, and I truly thought it would get easier, hell no. I am trying so hard to stay strong, and trying to hang on to every word he tells me that gives me comfort but its so hard without him here. 


"No one turns into a horrible person during a deployment. Fights and tears don't make you horrible, they make you human. We spend so much time trying to be super heroes that we punish ourselves for being normal"


"Deployments are the perfect time to grow. To learn how to be independent while loving someone with your whole heart. To be secure in every aspect of your life, whether it be your relationship or your finances. It's okay to have friends, it's okay to have fun, it's okay to not break down everyday, and its even okay to break down some days"


"He's thinking about you. Every time you go to bed hugging your pillow wishing it was him. He's holding on to the perfume sprayed letter or picture wishing it was you. As forgotten as you feel, remember that they miss you just as much, even if they don't always show it in the glorious and romantic ways we dream up."


--Saw these sayings on a support site this morning when i woke up feeling like it was gonna be one of those days. I'm trying so hard to keep these in mind, and remember them but gosh darnit it's so hard. You can say all you want that your gonna be strong, your not gonna let a deployment get to you, but its much easier said than done. I'm so ready for the weddings to be over with. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas (mostly) are the Holidays im looking forward to. Probably planning a trip to Wilmington the last weekend in Oct, then a trip to VA Beach the first weekend in November to see my sister. Maybe those will give me a break and kind of hurry up and make the days go by faster. I definately love having things to look forward to, it makes time go by quick. 


On a good note. I thought of the PERFECT idea for the hotel room the night he gets home! Can't say on here because I know he reads this ... sorry babe :). Its fantastic though, and I have plenty of ideas for our mini vacation for when he comes back too! See I wish I could spend my time thinking of things to do, and actually do them! AH! ugh...back to work I go...shoot me now :)




iloveyougarett <3