In my head

Well. In my head I am trying to stay positive, look at the good instead of the bad. But my fucking heart is taking over my head. As it seems to do most of the time. WHY? I really dont understand, he's looking at the positive and Im trying to, but its so damn hard. I swear over these next 3 or so weeks I am going to be one emotional rollercoaster :( . I refuse to argue with him though. Im not wasting these next few weeks with him arguing. I still want to cry all the time ( i know, im a big cry baby) but thats me. But I dont, im trying to suck it up and be strong. And ya know? Its not the fact im scared he's going to be in a dangerous place...ok well maybe thats a part of it, but its the amount of time that we're going to be apart. 6 weeks is the longest we've ever been apart and that almost killed me. now...7 months! ugh, im already looking forward to homecoming and he hasnt even left yet. i do think that it'll get easier the longer that he's gone, im sure by the 4th or 5th month itll be easier, then I wont have that much longer till I see him. Hopefully communication will be good over there for us. I'll take a 5 minute phone call, or 10 minute Skype Date over nothing at all. Thats going to be hard too, im so use to talking to him everyday, UGH deployment you suck ball sac


...anyways...


Im so tired of my job, i feel like I do everything I can, work when they want me to, barely complain about any of it, AND I also havent had a raise in ... 4 years. Im about to have to say my "see ya later" to my boyfriend, my breath of fresh air, for 7 months and I am scared to death to ask off for work bc I dont want to get bitched at for it. I need a new job, a new change of environment. Im so tired of this place....


AND...on another note, the stupid hooker from the insurance hasn't returned my call, almost at 2 years to try and get my money from my wreck from Nov 09...ugh seriously Im so BLAH right now, the only thing right in my life right now is HIM, and he's leaving soon...hopefully everything will fall together soon before I fall apart....

i did this yesterday while I was bored sitting at home.

My 3 favorite pictures of US <3